3rd House Journal

January thaw

While Snowzilla hit the Mid-Atlantic states and Washington DC, we got away with just a few inches in the Boston area. D was still recovering from his cold (possibly bronchitis), so I brought him to my place in the 'burbs where we mostly hunkered down for the weekend.

Unlike our usual city weekends, where we're generally out and about and so dine out wherever we end up, weekends at my place give me a chance to cook. I cooked fish with Thai red curry sauce on Friday night. And on Saturday I made chicken cacciatore (or hunter's chicken) from an old recipe I had that stewed the chicken parts in a sauce of portobello mushrooms, onions, white wine, chicken stock, and a mere cup of chopped tomatoes. We were planning to have the cacciatore leftovers on Sunday afternoon during the big playoff football game, but all those commercials featuring pizza during the game got the best of us so we ran out at halftime to pick up an order from a local pizzeria.

We did get out for a walk on Saturday afternoon after the snow stopped and it cleared up. There wasn't a whole lot, just a nice coating over the brown, which was nice.

Today I worked at home after a bad night's sleep. Lucky that I can turn off my alarm when I'm awake for too long in the middle of the night and sleep in a bit. It would have been hard to function at the office, so I managed to get some work done in my home office. By mid afternoon, I needed a break and it was relatively warm out (50°F/10°C), so rather than try to drag my sleep deprived body to the gym I went for a walk, commiserating with sorry-looking snowmen melting into lumps with their jaunty face pieces fallen at their feet. All that freezing and melting and freezing again. Just like my night.

Summer interlude

[Sunflower in front of my living room window; 7/24/14]

With D away the last couple of weekends, I've not been in the city - nor apparently anyplace particularly tempting to my camera. Instead of the haul of photos I net on city weekends to sort through, tweak and post online, I had a small handful and not much to share. Mostly I spent the time doing what I've been unable to do between working full-time and being in the city on weekends: long overdue house cleaning and projects such as acquiring new pots and repotting my rather neglected house plants.  I got to the produce market, made some good dinners requiring more time than I usually have, and got out to see friends.

With D away, I had spells of feeling bereft while otherwise appreciating the time to myself. I'd been thinking of taking a couple of days off from work this summer just to putter around the house by myself, but my "paid time off" pool is not as bounteous as I'd like. So D's being gone for two weekends gave me that  time to myself without draining the PTO pool. Anyway, he's back now and I have an extra long weekend this weekend, having long-ago scheduled today and Monday off from work. We have another long weekend later in August at the Cape, so there's that to look forward to. Summer is my favorite time of year and all too short.

[Begonia on my patio; 7/13/14]

White Street

[White St, Belmont MA; 2/18/14]

The scene today up at the corner where my street meets aptly named White St.

This should be the last snow for a little while. We're in for a warming trend for the next few days, as high as 50°F (10°C) on Friday. Alas, rain is predicted, adding to the snow melt. Messy stuff.

Valentine snow

[Commwealth Ave, Boston; 2/15/14]

We changed our reservations to earlier since many diners were cowed by the predicted blizzard with up to a foot of heavy snow. But Mother Nature changed her mind and kept further south, dropping only 4 or 5 inches of snow in the city. Anyway, we only had to walk one snowy block away, opening an alley door into Mexican warmth.

Past Lives

[In Grafton MA; 2/1/05]

My life has certainly changed in the 5+ years since I left the countryside in Grafton for the suburbs of Boston and the city itself on weekends. My old photos show fields and horse farms and the graceful town common with its gazebo and white steepled churches.

The scenes are serene and also rather lonely, though I loved the land with its seasonal changes, the old houses, the horses I saw every day on my walks.

[Pasture, Grafton; 10/24/04]

Now there is the hustle-bustle of the city interspersed with the semi-quiet of my residential urban neighborhood and occasional walks through the local cemetery with its chipmunks and crows. When I first moved to Belmont for work, I could walk up to the Habitat Audubon Center from my job for regular doses of nature, but it's no longer within walking distance and now I visit only rarely.

Yesterday I sold my condo in Grafton, the official deed registered Monday morning after the closing on Friday -- nicely in time for Christmas. I hadn't lived there since 2007, so I'd already left really. But the financial responsibilities continued as I rented it out, tried to sell it in 2010, and rented it out again until October this year. Now the final cord is cut, 26 years after purchasing it in the summer of 1987. I remember after the closing, sitting on the floor of my empty living room looking up at the expanse of the cathedral ceiling, light pouring in through the skylights with promise.

[Living room, Grafton; 6/23/07]

I suppose it was never really "mine" -- the bank always owned more of it than I did, and in truth I never expected to have it so long. There was a small boom in real estate then, certainly not the massive bubble that came more recently, but I expected to live there for awhile and eventually leave and make some money on it. Instead I rode the tides for more than 25 years, rented it out for 2 years in the early '90s while living with my then boyfriend, got laid off, moved back in, refinanced more than once and took money out each time to keep afloat as I built a freelance business that crested in 2001 and thoroughly tanked after that. I rented out my lower level for years to help pay the mortgage, and to have some company. Then there was the long commute for the first year of my job in 2006, followed by the big move out in the summer of 2007.

[More pasture land, Grafton; 9/3/04]

When D and I went out in October to paint a couple of rooms to spruce the place up for selling, I thought about moving back and staying there for awhile. The commute to my job would have been long, though I could have worked at home a couple of days a week. But there was so much of it worn down and needing replacement, the threat of many things breaking down and requiring money I don't have. The market might pick up and the price rise a bit, and my mortgage was increasingly paying down principal. But I would be so much farther away from D, there would be the ungodly hassle and expense of moving, and I like where I'm living now. I had some lovely times at my condo, but I felt stuck out there after awhile. I wanted to get unstuck.

So now I am free and probably unlikely to own again since housing is so expensive here. I was always over my head anyway, a single person with rather limited income. While I currently have a good job, employment is never very secure anymore. I didn't make enough on the sale to buy anything else, but I won't feel strapped and I'll have a bit of retirement savings. We'll see what the future brings.

[Stand of trees, Grafton; 2/1/05]

Wintry Mix

[Bowl of snow; 1/29/13]

January has been a mixed bag at best. Cold days interspersed with sunnier, warmer days made chilly by strong winds. Work has been slow, though I've made at least one promising new contact this month. Others have talked about upcoming work as well, but nothing moves forward but the days on the calendar. Meanwhile, I am keeping afloat on some smallish projects from my former employer and may wave a flag for more if they have it. 

[Unhappy lion; 1/29/13]

I know how this lion feels. The Leo bits of me (Ascendant and Moon) are cranky without sun and warmth. Not to mention more sound sleep than I've been getting. I broke down and ordered a small SAD light yesterday to combat the increasingly frequent rough patches that threaten to envelope me. Meanwhile, the days do grow a bit longer. Tomorrow is expected to be unseasonably warm, at least for a day, after today's "wintry mix" of snow and freezing rain.

[The dogs don't mind the cold, so long as they're playing]

I did manage to get out on Sunday morning to join a group walk in Boston. The wind chills were below zero, but I dressed warm and it was nice to get outside and to see people. The freelance life has its benefits, but feeling any sense of belonging is not one of them. The weather, of course, doesn't help - I missed another walk tonight because of the icy-wet roads and walkways. But, the sun will come out tomorrow... and the SAD light arrives on Thursday. With any luck, some checks owed me might arrive soon, too (sigh).

[Friends in the snow; 1/29/13]

Civic Duty

[November 6, 2012]

10:30am. Five-minute walk to the polling center. Sunny, but cold. Two waving campaign workers, two opposing signs. Elementary school gym. Old man in a wheelchair pushed by an aide. People who ducked out from jobs nearby. Two election workers at a folding table. My address, my name, my ballot. Black markers to fill in the circles. Short line to sign out. My address, my name, my ballot fed into the slot. A rush of joy.

Great Pumpkins

[Porch pumpkins with spider; 10/17/12]

Yesterday afternoon I took a walk in my old Belmont neighborhood, the neighborhood I lived in the first year I first moved here to the old apartment with its fabulous porch. I still miss that beautiful neighborhood (and the porch) although my current apartment is more serene and well-maintained by my landlords. It's only a mile and a half from the old neighborhood, alas all uphill so I don't make it over there on my walks very often. I had to run some errands, so I parked nearby and strolled the leafy streets for awhile, camera in hand, hunting more porch pumpkins.

[Contemporary porch pumpkin]

[Sweet scarecrow]

I remember when K and I looked at the apartment we ended up renting, our landlord told us about the "reservoir" park down the street from our apartment, and we expected a broad expanse of water only to find the park to be a huge mound with an underground water supply for the nearby city of Cambridge. It still turned out to be a nice place to walk, and I went there yesterday, finding a few people walking dogs or strolling with their ear-buds on around the track-like path that circles the reservoir. The oak trees (on Oak St) were just about at peak color.

[Oak St side of Payson Park, Belmont]

We've reportedly had a bumper crop of pumpkins in the state this year, with perfect growing weather. Besides pumpkins on nearly every porch (my upstairs neighbors put a whole seasonal display on our front porch, with large pumpkin, mums, reeds...), there is pumpkin-themed food on every menu around. Pumpkin raviolis. Pumpkin risotto. Pumpkin muffins, bread, cheesecake, etc. And of course pumkin ale. I find most pumpkin ales too overfilled with spices such that you can't taste the beer, so I was happy to find a local craft brew, Great Pumpkin Ale, from the Cambridge Bewing Co. that's just right. Subtle pumpkin flavor from local, organic sugar pumpkins and just a trace of spices. D and I enjoyed a large bottle of the ale recently and yesterday I bought a couple more at a specialty store in the old neighborhood. Looking forward to enjoying some this weekend.

Meanwhile, just drinking in the porch pumpkins...

[On Payson St, Belmont]

Summer Transition

[Fountain, Rose Kennedy Greenway, Boston; 6/9/12]

While our spring was cooler than normal, the solstice ignited summer like a match to an open burner. My dashboard thermometer read 100°F on Wednesday afternoon and it wasn't much cooler at night. Although grateful for my air conditioning, I've found myself desperate to get out of the house and move, so I've taken a couple of brief slow walks in the neighborhood - late in the evening and early in the morning.

[Coneflowers, in the neighborhood; 6/22/12]

Most of the neighborhood flora is doing quite well in the heat, reveling in long day's sunshine and humid air. In fact, some vegetation seems to have taken over completely.

[Someone's privacy-enhanced front porch; 6/22/12]

Meanwhile, I've had some work to do, but mainly have spent time reading to brush up on my professional skills, exploring some marketing options, and thinking about the shape of this return to freelancing. All of which feels like spinning my wheels because I always feel like I've not done anything unless I have something to show. Research and just thinking about things always feels like evaporated time to me, however necessary it is to writing and creating something with form and structure. And freelance life in general, I'm beginning to remember, has a lot of formlessness to it unless you make your own structures. It also requires getting out and seeing people, because working alone from home does lose that everyday contact with coworkers, even when they're mostly silently working away beside you all day. Anyway, I'm still transitioning, but overall happily.

Under Wraps

[Bathtub saints, under wrap in Belmont; 11/6/11]

It's a wrap! is traditionally pronounced at the end of filming, even when it's only an industrial video, as I used to produce back in the fun old days. Back then I worked with creative free spirits, albeit for "The Man" (ie, corporate entities), but paid well and frequently hired. Freelance professionals all, we showed up for our part, did our best, answered to the project manager who answered to the client, for the length of the project, then we disbanded. It was a joyful experience.

Contrast this with wage-slave life where we show up every day of the work week, 7.5 hours per day depending on the company's official (and unofficial) requirements, which is fine and provides regular income and quite often interesting work. But we are underclass in this situation, subject to the whims of management and the winds of office politics. We are reminded variously of our status as underlings. We are children.