Happy Groundhog Day

I've mentioned here before how much I love Groundhog Day, the movie. Even before my love life began to bear an uncanny resemblance to it. This year is different because I've basically opted out of that giant wheel of suffering that is the dating turnstyle. After the last would-be-relationship fiasco (a rather minor fiasco, but atop a pile o' priors), I went on hiatus and my emotional health hasn't been better. This is for all you married folks who envy the single life: dating sucks. It's a bruising sport, at least if you're playing for more than the fun of it. And after you've done that for umpteen years, if you're not an inveterate cad slut gadabout, you either date as a means to meet someone or because you're a lunatic or a masochist. Or you quit.

Meanwhile, my life has filled up with work and friends. Okay, mostly work, but friends, too. This week has not been a good work week. I worked over the weekend. I've worked long hours all week. The bathrooms at the office have been out of order all week!! so we have to truck next door in the freezing cold to use the ones in the other building. I'm tired. Tuesday night I was too tired to think straight enough to stop myself from clicking "download" when Microsoft offered me IE7 - DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER INSTALLING IE7. It was horrible. I deinstalled it and it left me unable to use IE or my Outlook Express at all. And I was planning to work at home yesterday. Fortunately, Firefox had no problem picking up the slack, and even converted my company's email system right over onto Firefox. Hahahaha. (I turned on public TV after 11:00 that night and Charlie Rose was interviewing Bill Gates! - oh, just the man I wanted to see...) But I still had to set up all my email accounts, clear some cookies, etc., which took up precious hours.

Anyway, despite all this, I am very happy with this job. They extended my project deadline a bit without criticism, they're appreciative, my boss talked to me today about making sure I don't get overloaded with too much all at once again. And my work is one area in my life that I know I'm actually good at. After freelancing all too sporadically for 13 years, I get satisfaction every single week, if not every day. This is good for one's self esteem. Which dating, au contraire, is not. At least not if you're "looking." I've had some fun dating. I've not had particularly good experiences trying to start relationships. It's like trying to get a cake to rise at high altitude when you don't have the appropriate--what, baking soda? baking powder? salt? See, the right ingredients are always missing, and after all the work of measuring and mixing it inevitably falls flat. But... having a full life without all that hitting my head against the wall over and over - priceless.

[groundhog photo courtesy of wikipedia]

And then my mom called tonight, to make sure I know that they moved to Michigan to live near my brother. Which, incidentally, they did a year and a half ago.

Comments

[Bob Eggleton]

Is it Groundhog Day? Did he see his shadow?

Dating drove me out of my mind back in the day. In fact, to find my perfect woman I went all the way to Australia. Before that I was often a basket case. Blind dates, personal ads, the whole bit...got a few friends out of some but on the whole it was a train wreck.

Then I had the gratifying but frustrating experience of two women-having dropped me the decade before for not "seeing it",they came back-kids in tow-both in train wrecks of marriages, one divorced, the other thinking of, asking me to "take up where we left off". Riiiiight.

It seems like a life ago.

[marja-leena]

"This is for all you married folks who envy the single life: dating sucks." If I ever became widowed, I don't think I could begin dating again!! No, I don't envy the singles scene. I'm glad that you've stopped and that you are happier for it, and that your job has worked out so well! Now about your Mom - at least she is looked after well, and she still remembers you. I do understand the pain though, Leslee.

[Jean]

Oh, Leslee. All human life is here - in one week! I'm so glad about your job, and that they have a reasonable attitude to your workload. Reading and delighting in your writing in this post, I think they're incredibly lucky to have such a talented writer with such a light touch (some of the topics you mention must really need that), and I'm glad they appreciate you!

[leslee]

Bob: I haven't heard yet about the groundhog - the sun is just coming up now. But yeah, you and Marianne are lucky. I think the more complex you are, the harder it is to find someone who fits. It might take someone from the other side of the world.

Thanks, Marja-Leena. And my mom sounded in good spirits anyway. I need to get out to see them again soon.

Jean: Thanks. I do feel lucky to have found this job. I hope I still feel this way when the novelty (6 months) has completely worn off! And now...hoping for a little less "fullness" for a few days. I'm beat.

[Dave]

No shadow was seen. However, here in the northeast we've had late springs now for quite a few years, so I'll be very surprised if Phil turns out to have been right.

Agreed: dating sucks, IE *really* sucks, productive work is good. You're good. (Witness your previous post.) Carry on, sister.

[kurt]

Bought myself a copy of Groundhog Day a few months back; I love it. It's good to be reminded that, given enough tries, we can eventually get it right--even in relationships.

[MB]

What a week. I'm glad your workplace understands they have a quality item in you and that they're willing to work with you on the load. And I'm glad to hear that your friends are in evidence! That's *always* a good thing. I'd forgotten all about the groundhog...

[joanna]

Boo love life. Yay job. Boo IE. and about those calls--one becomes adept at acting like the news is fresh, even when the calls are daily. Dad used to call daily last fall, then he went on anti-depressants and it stopped,as did his affect, so we took him off the ad's and now he calls frequently, not daily. Just wants us to know his room number.

[April]

God, I love Groundhog Day. One of my favorites. And as for dating, I hated it when I was doing it and can't even imagine missing it. I completely agree with this sentiment: "I think the more complex you are, the harder it is to find someone who fits. It might take someone from the other side of the world." It did, in fact, take someone from the other side of the world to suit my sundry weirdnesses. The universe had the whimsical sense of humor to plunk him down in New Zealand and me in rural Indiana, born 10 years apart, and blow the starting whistle: "Okay you two... go to it!" Took us 'til he was 40 and I was 30, but we managed to find each other. So, such things do seem to happen here and there, but I don't know if it's kismet or sheer luck. Wishing you either or both!

[leslee]

Thanks, Dave. As you can see, we finally got some snow here. We'll see if this is just the beginning of winter or just a brief flirtation.

Kurt: I own a copy, too. Funny how you can watch that repetitive movie repeatedly!

MB: Thanks. Good to have friends here in the virtual world, too. :-)

Joanna: Weird, isn't that, that they do the same thing? My mom has done this before, just not recently. Comes and goes. I get the sentiment, though - they don't want you to forget them, they miss you.

April: Funny. Maybe I should be looking down under. I also know a couple that met from Boston and Hawaii and spent the first 2 years of the their marriage living partly in 2 places. The provincial types who live around here won't date outside a 10 mile radius. Maybe I need to travel more...