Fullness

The moon was full and bright last night.  And I had another full week. Work is getting better. I seem to have passed the first test - dealing with a challenging supervisor (my boss, a sweetheart, was away for 2 weeks on vacation) and a very tight project deadline on top of trying to learn the ropes. They seem very happy with how it turned out, and with me. And this week my nice cubicle mate returned from her vacation, a long-time veteran offered me insight, and people are beginning to introduce themselves and chat a bit, and so I'm settling in.

It was also nice to have someone to look forward to being with when I got out of work, as Island Man was around until yesterday morning, minus a brief visit to the island. He also left behind a rather improved quality of life, having replaced the broken and buzzing 19-year-old florescent light over my sink and fixed a few other odds and ends. No better houseguest. Meanwhile, I've questioned my ability to ever figure out how to do a relationship with anyone. Still, he called me on my cell this morning at work, and all was good.

More sadly, I called my folks after work today, from Walden Pond (yes, I bought a season pass, better late than never), and my mom told me their lease is up and they're leaving to come back here tomorrow. Except it's not true - I know, I signed her part of the lease (I have power of att'y) and mailed it just this week. She's confused on the factual reality, but not on the emotional - as in dreams, the facts are all wrong but the emotions are real. My dad did tell me they have various events coming up, my brother is taking them somewhere tomorrow, they have a woman coming to take her out once a week, and they have a handful of social things scheduled - a play, a luncheon. This Wednesday is her 76th birthday.

Lots of catching up to do this weekend around the house, and hopefully around my blog neighborhood some. But it's also supposed to be lovely weather, which may prevail over all other plans. Moderate, dry, sunny summer days here are so rare they must be enjoyed.

Comments

[marja-leena]

So glad you are doing well! And do enjoy the summer weather while you have it.

Oh, and about relationships - maybe not try so hard? Just a lot of listening both ways. I'm not an expert, mind.

[leslee]

Ah, I'm afraid it's a lot of wrestling with my own demons, set off sometimes by relationships. Didn't have good role models. Trying to avoid their mistakes with no clue what to do instead when fears and confusion come up. Now with a pile up of previous attempts ill-met.

But yes, I try not to try too hard.

[MB]

Fullness, indeed. You've woven a spectrum of events, feelings and relationships into this post and your life does sound full in a very rich way — the joyous with the sad.

The only thing I know to do when fear and confusion come up is to ask for clarity. Works wonders sometimes. Can take courage, though.

Enjoy your lovely weather this weekend!

[leslee]

Thanks, MB. Yes, courage, just at the time it seems least available! Since I've been with very noncommittal types over the past few years it's been hard to take risks (though now I think what was there to lose) but maybe if this one continues to feel a little more substantial it can allow me some leeway for taking chances. Who knows.

[joanna]

"She's confused on the factual reality, but not on the emotional - as in dreams, the facts are all wrong but the emotions are real. "

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself.

[leslee]

Joanna: Yes, I figured you'd be able to relate.