Two
kayaks chase,
tack, sidle up
bow
to stern
to bump gunwales
swaying
from cockpits
bent over coamings
reaching
to rock
in willing waves.
---
Update: fyi - this poem is written in the hay(na)ku form developed by Eileen Tabios and which I discovered through some wonderful hay(na)ku written by Ernesto Priego.
Oh, this is wonderful. I love the spareness of it, and the language, and the one/two/three pattern of the stanzas. Fantastic!
Posted by: Rachel | Wednesday, September 07, 2005 at 10:38 PM
I love this Leslee ... because I felt the oars (are they called oars or paddles in kayaks?) In fact, it was so evocative of the process and the swishing of the water that I even got a bit seasick...
Posted by: maria | Thursday, September 08, 2005 at 12:08 AM
sounds like haiku!
Posted by: joanna | Thursday, September 08, 2005 at 07:05 AM
Thanks, all! Glad you like it.
I had something before this that wasn't quite working, then I rewrote it in the hay(na)ku form and it really made it.
Maria: They're paddles. And don't get sick!
Posted by: leslee | Thursday, September 08, 2005 at 08:40 AM
You sure this is about kayaks? No, of course it isn't. Yes, of course it is. Whatever, I liked it . . . and feel as if I could use a cold shower.
Irrelevant thought: if someone introduced the kayak to Borneo, we could have Dayaks in kayaks. Kind of like St. Brendan - an oracle in a coracle. (Sorry.)
Posted by: Dave | Thursday, September 08, 2005 at 09:20 PM
No comment. :-)
Dayaks in kayaks and oracles in coracles. Very good!
Posted by: leslee | Friday, September 09, 2005 at 06:35 PM
Nice one, Leslee! And I loved the Salter Grove photo and description.
Posted by: beth | Friday, September 09, 2005 at 09:30 PM
I like Dave's comment. :-)
Posted by: susurra | Saturday, September 10, 2005 at 11:39 AM
So much motion in the words, I feel like I'm in that kayak. Wonderful!
Posted by: patry Francis | Sunday, September 11, 2005 at 10:52 AM
Thanks, all. I'm glad people liked this!
Posted by: leslee | Sunday, September 11, 2005 at 03:22 PM
And there is something so hay(na)ku about the word kayak...
I really liked it.
Posted by: ernesto Priego | Sunday, September 11, 2005 at 05:15 PM
E: Funny about kayak - yah, fits hay(na)ku. And thanks. I'm glad you liked it.
Posted by: leslee | Tuesday, September 13, 2005 at 09:04 AM