Two kayaks

Two
kayaks chase,
tack, sidle up

bow
to stern
to bump gunwales

swaying
from cockpits
bent over coamings

reaching
to rock
in willing waves.

---

Update: fyi - this poem is written in the hay(na)ku form developed by Eileen Tabios and which I discovered through some wonderful hay(na)ku written by Ernesto Priego.

Comments

[Rachel]

Oh, this is wonderful. I love the spareness of it, and the language, and the one/two/three pattern of the stanzas. Fantastic!

[maria]

I love this Leslee ... because I felt the oars (are they called oars or paddles in kayaks?) In fact, it was so evocative of the process and the swishing of the water that I even got a bit seasick...

[joanna]

sounds like haiku!

[leslee]

Thanks, all! Glad you like it.

I had something before this that wasn't quite working, then I rewrote it in the hay(na)ku form and it really made it.

Maria: They're paddles. And don't get sick!

[Dave]

You sure this is about kayaks? No, of course it isn't. Yes, of course it is. Whatever, I liked it . . . and feel as if I could use a cold shower.

Irrelevant thought: if someone introduced the kayak to Borneo, we could have Dayaks in kayaks. Kind of like St. Brendan - an oracle in a coracle. (Sorry.)

[leslee]

No comment. :-)

Dayaks in kayaks and oracles in coracles. Very good!

[beth]

Nice one, Leslee! And I loved the Salter Grove photo and description.

[susurra]

I like Dave's comment. :-)

[patry Francis]

So much motion in the words, I feel like I'm in that kayak. Wonderful!

[leslee]

Thanks, all. I'm glad people liked this!

[ernesto Priego]

And there is something so hay(na)ku about the word kayak...
I really liked it.

[leslee]

E: Funny about kayak - yah, fits hay(na)ku. And thanks. I'm glad you liked it.