[Outside Winston Flowers, Newbury St, Boston; 11/27/11]
This is the last day of NaBloPoMo and, while I've enjoyed the experience of blogging every day, reminding me of why I started and why I continue to blog, I'll be happy enough to slow things down again. It has eaten a bit into my allotment of free time outside of work and other obligations. I've not read any books, nor have I kept up very well with my friends' blogs, both of which I'd like to do again.
Lately I keep getting the message to slow down. This isn't easy for me for several reasons. I'm not a slow-moving person by any stretch. I recall once watching how slowly a friend of mine moved when I visited her, slowly lifting herself from her chair, slowly walking across the room, slowly picking up the kettle to pour more tea, etc. I'm more like my mother was, always jumping up, fidgeting, making beelines from one place to another. My mom would get bruises from bumping into things in her hasty movements. While I've heard that fidgeting actually burns calories, being keyed up too much of the time cannot be healthy.
Then there's the job. My job is not only deadline-driven, often with deadlines too tight to do justice to the work and get any sense of satisfaction from it, but also schedules and work hours are set by others. But then most jobs have fairly rigid work hours. It's as if we're on punch clocks doing factory work. I just came across a series of articles on the tyranny of modern time: "Today, in the United States, the punch-clock economy has faded. Why, then, are we still holding on to its time-logic?" Not only the punch-clock mentality, but all of our technologies keep us always in a state of urgency. As the author suggests, why not just opt out of it periodically and slow down:
"...how about just slowing down?... As you go from your car to the office, walk slowly. As you walk from the elevator to your desk, move slowly. Simply slow down. Opt out of our culture's principle, and now antiquated, time-logic of speed and efficiency to see what happens."
So I've been thinking about all my self-imposed urgencies. I still have work deadlines, but how effective am I if I feel such urgency that, as I did this summer, I put my back out and then cannot do anything for weeks? How much better can I work if I relax and think things through instead of flailing away with that deadline ever in mind? I also don't have to take that mentality home with me and check off every mental to-do list in the evening: laundry, check; dinner, check; dishes, check; squeeze in a couple of pages of reading, check; watch one of the many TV shows I've DVR'd, check; do my back exercises, check...
Fortunately, D is generally on a much more relaxed schedule so my weekends are a break from the workweek pattern. We sometimes do a lot on weekends, but there's usually no schedule. We almost never leave the apartment before noon and we're generally home relaxing in the evening as well. I don't know how long I'll be in this job, but my worklife in general will only be sustainable if I'm not so frequently stressed out. Maybe looking at time another way, bending time a bit more, is the key.
